A Mum Without Her Baby – A Father Without His Daughter
FAITH NEWSWIRE – “Time of death…” were the words the doctor spoke to Liz and Ray when their baby daughter went to heaven. Relive the gripping emotions and feelings the family encountered at the time of this great tragedy. It is a time in your life you will always remember when a loved one (and especially at such a young age) is taken from you.
‘Alana’s Brief Season’ is the compelling story of the death of little six month-old Alana Bremer. This captivating book recounts the faith that brought Liz Bremer, the author, through the pain of losing her precious child.
The words uttered by the doctor came sometime in the afternoon, 29 December 1994. Liz knew it was the right decision but she was still stunned by their words. She had tried to revive her doing CPR, then the ambulance officers took over and finally the nurses at the hospital.
“Monitors were turned off, IV lines removed, the place tidied up and doctors and nurses left the room for Ray and I to be together alone with Alana,” Liz said. “In the last couple of hours so much of how I had reacted was due to my nursing training. Now I was a mum without my baby while Ray was a dad without his daughter. For a moment in time we were lost in our pain. There were no words, we just hugged each other and cried at the enormity of our loss. This was the worst moment of our lives.”
No words can describe this loss, but Liz and Ray had a great faith in their God and trusted Him. Yes, they hurt so much over their bereavement but Liz explained it beautifully.
“I did a lot of crying in the first few months,” Liz said. “Instead of running away from God I turned to Him daily on my own. I didn’t question what God had done and wouldn’t let myself linger on the ‘why’ or ‘if. For me Alana was gone, full stop, rule off’, end of story. Yet I was hurting and told God so. In fact I told Him everything, just as I learned to do many years ago when I understood that God is my Father and friend. I needed time to heal. God was everything He promised to be. My best friend was and is Jesus and together we went through the pain.”
Liz and Ray were numbed by the experience as they left the hospital. They just wanted to shut down and let the world go by.
“We were physically and emotionally exhausted when we went to bed,” Liz goes on to say. “We all had a good night’s sleep and that has continued for many years. I’ve never had a dream / nightmare when Alana has been in it since that day.”
It was a blessing that they had family and friends around them from the day till just after Alana’s funeral. It felt like God carried them through this time with His energy to deal with everything.
Liz coped by taking time out writing to work through pain and for special days such as Alana’s birthday. The couple have had other children. However this was a great step of faith as this allowed them to be open that it all could go wrong again.
God was everything to Liz. She had become a Christian at the age of 13 years and now 17 years later she was calling out to Him to get her through this, knowing He loved her and was in control.
“Alana’s death was like the winter of my world. It was a season of loss and death. Somehow my ability to make sense of this tragic event came from words of comfort and hope in the Bible. There’s the hope and power of the resurrection of Jesus because He’s gained victory over death. One day I will be forever with Jesus in heaven. Love, blood, death and resurrection power will get me there and keep me there forever along with Alana who I will see again and many millions more.
“This is my autobiography, not a self help book or written by a counsellor wanting to help others. It’s one of the worst experiences I’ve gone through. It took years for this wound to heal to become a scar.”
Time heals pain experienced in the first stage of bereavement, which is slowly turned into a permanent sense of loss according to Liz. “From the day Alana died to the time I felt a sense of closure was around five years. It was a journey I never thought would take so long.
“I end the book with my youngest daughter’s birth. Her name is Nicole and means victory while Alana’s name means beautiful and for a brief season we enjoyed her beauty.”
Editor’s Note: this article may be re-produced, without requiring permission.